Working Our Way Together
by Meg0613
Summary: My follow up to Motherly Love.


Working Our Way Together

Set Post Motherly Love

Olivia sat on the edge of Noah's bed watching him breathe in and out peacefully, dressed snuggly in his blue footie pajamas, clutching his stuffed dinosaur. She closed the book that they had been reading and placed it on his bedside table. For a moment she thought about just laying down next to him and going to sleep right there. The trial had been one of the most excruciating ones she had experienced in a long time. Of course ones that involved kids with messed up mothers always hit to close to home.

" _It's hard to give up on your mother no matter how sick she is."_

She had said those words to Barba a few days ago and they were still running through her head, along with the tape that played whenever one of these cases came along. It had been sixteen years since she heard her mother's voice out loud but she could still hear it clearly in her head on days like this.

" _I wouldn't drink if raising you wasn't so damn hard."_

" _If you leave me I have nobody."_

" _You are the reason nobody wants me."_

" _You are my whole world, I would die without you."_

" _I gave up everything for you."  
"You are not an easy person to love, I am the only one who will ever love you."_

Olivia shook her head trying to stop the tape from playing. As she kissed Noah one more time and crept off him bed she promised herself she would make an appointment with Dr. Lindstrom as soon as possible. It was probably past time to check in with him. He had helped her work through her feelings about her relationship with Tucker but she had not been in since then.

Her phone was buzzing on the counter when she walked back into the kitchen, it was Barba. She felt bad turning down his offer for a drink because she knew that he needed someone to decompress with as much as she did. She just could not be that for him earlier, she was so drained and had nothing left to give. She was learning that it was ok to put your own emotional need first sometimes and as much as she wanted to she just could not be there for him earlier.

"Hi" She said softly as she answered the phone not sure what to expect on the other end.

"Hey, I just wanted to check on you. I don't want to keep you from Noah." He said quickly sounding a little nervous.

Olivia smiled, "I just finished putting him to bed." she paused before continuing, "If it's not too late I wouldn't mind that drink now."

"Scotch or wine?" He asked her.

"Surprise me."

Twenty minutes later she was opening the door to him holding her favorite bottle of wine, she smiled when she saw it and when she could tell that he looked better than he did when they had left the courtroom. He was dressed in jeans and a sweater and appeared to have recently showered.

"You went to the gym." She concluded out loud.

Barba nodded and smiled walking towards the kitchen.

"Excellent deduction Lieutenant, "He laughed, "Yes, I figured a good workout was a better option than going straight to the bar."

Olivia nodded in understanding she had come home to Noah he had gone to work out, they had both found ways to clear their heads a little but now here they were back together.

"What did you and Noah do tonight?" He asked her as he pulled two glasses down from her cabinet and the corkscrew out of the drawer.

"We made cookies and played playdough, before reading about an hour's worth of Eric Carle." She told him.

"Cookies?" He asked glancing around the kitchen for the results of their labor.

Olivia laughed and pointed to the top of the refrigerator. "You are as bad as he is."

Barba set their glasses of wine on the counter in front of her, grabbed the cookie jar, then came around and sat on the bar stool next to her.

"Hey, I did the entire torture work out, I deserve multiple cookies. " He countered not hesitating to grab two cookies and place them in front of himself. "How many are you having?" he asked tilting the jar towards her.

Olivia laughed and shook her head, "Not all of us made it to torture workout." 

"Take the damn cookie Liv, eating cookies alone is as bad a drinking alone." He told her in his most serious voice. She rolled her eyes but complied taking a cookie from the jar. They sat there in comfortable silence for several minutes eating their cookies and drinking their wine before Barba spoke up.

"Did you ever give up on your mother?" He finally asked her.

Olivia sighed, "That I could make her stop drinking? Yes, by the time I was in high school I knew that I couldn't control that. That she would love and accept me for who I am? That she would be proud of me? I am still working on that. So often with Noah I find myself wondering if she would think that I am a good mother. Which when I say it out loud I know sounds utterly ridiculous."

Barba shook his head, "My father could not keep a job for more than six months at a time, my mother or Abuletia paid all of the bills, yet when I lose a case I hear him telling me that I will never amount to anything or worse yet sometimes when I win one I remember the night I told him I had received a scholarship to Harvard."

Olivia slipped her hand into his, "What happened that night?"

Barba looked at her having never talked about it, "He hit me, hard, told me that I thought I was better than anyone else but I wasn't, I was just a punk kid with a smart mouth. He then physically pushed me out of the house and I never let me back in."

"Raf…" Olivia whispered. "What about your mother and abuletia?"

"We didn't see each other again until after he died. We would write letters and talk on the phone occasionally but we did not see each other." He admitted.

"You've been standing up to him your entire career." She realized out loud.

He smiled and reached with his free hand tucking her hair behind her ear, "And you have been telling your mother that you can heal after being a victim."

After a long silent minute Olivia spoke their fingers still joined together, "Yet here we are together, trying our best to work our way through it all."

Barba nodded, "We are at our best together, Liv"

Olivia took a long look at him trying to decide how to respond but before she could he leaned over and kissed her softly.

"I'm not asking anything of you Liv, not right now, you aren't ready, just know when you are I am here." He explained his voice soft and steady.

Oliva felt tears begin to form in her eyes as she nodded. "I want us to keep working towards that."

Barba traced her face with his finger before kissing her softly again, "Working together is what we do best."

The End


End file.
